Way back in 2020, I was diagnosed with food allergies. Food items that I had enjoyed since childhood had now become my adversaries. It has been a constant struggle to cope. The allergic reaction has been getting worse. I start itching, and if an antidote isn’t taken, the intensity increases.
Tomatoes, split chickpeas, and groundnuts are such ubiquitous items in Indian cooking that they are impossible to avoid, so I end up eating them unknowingly. As I age, apparently, my body is constantly in stress mode; hence, the allergic reaction is also getting aggressive. It began on December 31 and is still ongoing.
Explaining my eating habits and restrictions and being on high alert for what the ingredients are all add to my sense of isolation, loneliness, and despair.
Currently, I am on an ayurvedic treatment that involves eating almost 15 medicines a day to detox my system. It has been six months, and it doesn’t feel like there is light anywhere. I started weaning off of these medicines, but this last episode has put me back to almost the beginning.
There are days, like today, when I struggle more than usual. I am feeling exceptionally low and dull. It feels like I am sinking into this pit hole with no way out. Maybe my hormones are also playing havoc with me as I am sitting in the middle of PMS.
I love being a woman, and I am all for womanhood, but just sometimes, it feels too much to handle and cope with. I wish it were easier for women, healthier for women, and less intimidating for women to age.
Wade Across Life 