It has been a strange day. Not unusual, but strange. Maybe there is too much quiet as my parents are travelling. Or it is the emptiness of the dinner table with my son and husband out for dinner with their friends. Or it could be the absence of the to-do list or the news of the demise of a young friend with whom I have lost touch.
This last Saturday of April brings with it a sense of changing times and what is to come. I hope I keep sane and don’t lose myself in the anxiety of whatif. Life will keep spinning, and soon May will come, and with it, my long-lost sister’s 40th birthday. A day that I had planned to celebrate in so many ways, and today I haven’t even spoken to her in the last 3 years, not hugged her, seen her, or even heard her voice, teasing me, getting angry, or just calling me randomly.
My heart yearns for her in ways I can’t explain. She was the first baby I held, and being only 3.5 years younger than me, I have loved her forever. Truly and deeply. She doesn’t understand my love and care for her, and even today, with her cutting off all ties with us, she has a piece of it and will always have one.
Today, I wish her a very happy birthday, well in advance, so that the universe can carry it and deliver my message, love, wishes, and hugs to her on time. Seven seas is a long way to go, and I don’t want to be late.
Happy Birthday, darling sis. I love you. I pray that someday soon you will find it in your heart to come looking for us, your family, who loves and misses you every day.
Wade Across Life 