Toxic Workplace

I haven’t been able to write for a week, and that has made me edgy and ready to burst. There were these unexpressed emotions and thoughts that kept pulling me in different directions, making it tough to function.

Multiple things have been happening since March started, but the biggest impact has been the slide down on my work front. I have always sought solace in my work. It is where I am just me, a techie and nerdy woman who codes and revels in the high it brings. I am not identified as a mom, wife, lover, daughter, or any other role I play in other spheres of life.

I am not a very ambitious person, but I enjoy being a working woman. Over the years, I have made peace with the fact that even if I am learning slowly or not climbing the heights of the professional world, I am not stagnant. I have made my mark in some form or another, even if that ecosystem is a small one.

I recently moved jobs and was pretty excited about working for a startup, even though it meant long work hours and more commute time. But over the past few weeks, I have realized the leadership here has a very high need to control and dictate terms, leaving very little breathing space for those who work here. It is becoming insanely toxic, where we just come and spend time living in fear and apprehension of the mood swings of the CEO.

With the job market where it is at the moment, there aren’t many options but to find a way to deal with this toxicity. I don’t crumble under the pressure until I find a new job. The fear of being at home, not making money, and being independent, even if for a short time, is making me restless, anxious, and suffocated.

Is a healthy workplace still a luxury and not a necessity even in these times?

How much effort does it take for anyone to be humane and treat others with empathy and an open heart?

When we spend a good 12 hours at work, it becomes as essential a part of our life as our home. If there is no peace, respect, or trust there, it becomes next to impossible to give your 100%. Each one of us has lives that have multiple touch points that may or may not be good and positive. At the end of the day, an employer or a leader who leads from the heart and genuinely cares about and treats people with respect is the one we all want to work for and won’t mind going the extra mile when needed.